The Coquette never gives himself completely to her victim, she delays the seduction and gives hope and provides pleasure, and frustrates him. Coquettes continue the seduction for a long time, not submitting to his victim’s will. The essence of seduction is to last it, to extend it to such a level that the person gets aglow with desires and is not able to wait. When the other becomes too desperate, you can get what you want, and when you feel the seduction is losing its charm, get distant.
“The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction—while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of this game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward—the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power—all of which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more. Coquettes seem totally self-sufficient: they do not need you, they seem to say, and their narcissism proves devilishly attractive. You want to conquer them but they hold the cards. The strategy of the Coquette is never to offer total satisfaction. Imitate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels.”
Key Points:
- Withdrawing is necessary when seduction loses its charm.
- Be elusive in seduction and be shrouded in mystery.
- Self-esteem is important in seduction.
Withdrawing:
The Coquette once feels that the seduction is losing its charm and magic, she quickly withdraws and gets cold. First, she attracts her victim, and when she arouses his desires, she gives hope. The Coquette postpones satisfaction which makes the chase more beautiful and exciting, and the victim cannot wait to possess and subdue her.
“He wanted to possess her. And once she had aroused this desire, her power lay in postponing its satisfaction, withdrawing from him, frustrating him.”
By remaining elusive:
The Cold Coquette is elusive and lets her target pursue her, she is distant and hard to be possessed. Seduction is powerful when it is delayed since human being takes a relationship for granted when it is easily built and the other person easily succumbs to the temptations. The Coquette knows the essence of seduction and stays elusive.
“Their self-containment, their appearance of having no need for other people, only makes us want to do things for them, hungry for the slightest sign of recognition and favor.”
A bout of distance:
Too much attention disturbs the other person; it scares and annoys her/him. The Coquette traps his victim emotionally, and then he withdraws for a while. In seduction, distance allows others to think about you and fill the empty space. When you are available all the time, you lose your seductive charm.
“Remember: the essence of the Coquette lies not in the tease and temptation but in the subsequent step back, the emotional withdrawal.”
Narcissism:
A narcissistic woman is extremely attractive since people need others to praise them and love them. She loves herself; people around her secretly get jealous of her and wish to possess her. Self-esteem is important in seduction; people are attracted to self-confident and self-sufficient people.
“A man is also challenged by the female Coquette’s independence—he wants to be the one to make her dependent, to burst her bubble.”
Inciting jealousy:
The Coquette keeps her victim unbalanced by sending subtle signals that he is losing interest; he deliberately praises another person just to tease her. Such subtle hints incite jealousy and arouse desires and the victim gets scared of losing him.
“Their jealousy when he suddenly favored one of them only increased his power over them.”
Conclusion:
The Coquette withdraws when he/she feels that the victim is losing interest. The Coquette is shrouded in mystery and stays elusive which makes him more powerful and seductive. Coquettes keep their distance when they know the victim is emotionally trapped.
References:
- Robert, G. (2001). The art of seduction.