The ideal lover provides what the victim misses in her life. She had dreams in her youth, she dreamt of an idle love; she lived in fantasies, but reality creeps in, and she ends up in the arms of the person who cares more about himself and less about her. The ideal lover reads perfectly the mood of his target, and goes along with her moods, letting her feel that there is still hope to rekindle and relive her dreams. He is the master of reading faces, taking risks, and has learned how to please a woman. Such qualities make him the center of attention and a magnet of love and admiration.
“Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people’s broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require, idealizing your portrait. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover.”
Key Points:
- Reading your target is the prime quality of an Ideal lover.
- The Ideal lover loves challenges, and he is not scared of chaos.
- The Ideal lover does not take her target’s words seriously, rather looking for cues that reveal her weaknesses.
Go along with her moods:
The ideal lover is patient and waits for the right moment; he is in no hurry to spoil things at the outset of the relationship unless it was necessary. He reads her mood; he digs deeper and keenly observes her and provides what she lacks in her life. If she lacks romance in her life, he gets to it through subtle maneuvers and steps, and she easily succumbs to his temptations. If she lacks adventure in her life, he takes her on adventurous trips to ease her anxiety and fulfill her dreams which she cannot fulfill with his husband or with her boyfriend. He even goes to extremes to win her heart; he takes risks when he feels she needs to experience the thrill of risks.
“Once she had fallen under his spell, a little ruse or calculation would seal the romance (a day among rats, a contrived fall from a horse, an encounter with another woman to make Ignazia jealous)”
The cultivation of the pleasures of the senses was ever my principal aim in life. Knowing that I was personally calculated to please the fair sex, I always strove to make myself agreeable to it.
—CASANOVA
Ignore your targets’ words and conscious behavior:
To be an Ideal lover, you should not take seriously your target’s words since what he/she says may not be true, and her words go against her tone of voice and facial expressions. If you focus keenly, you will easily find what she misses in her life. The worst mistake people make is they give up on seduction before it has started due to her bitter words. Words are key to her heart, the more she will reveal her weakness. What is the beauty in seduction is: Resistance, and when there is no resistance, seduction is dead. The more easily you get her, the sooner you may lose interest in her. It is the constant pursuit and struggles that make the seduction appealing and alluring to her. She has never felt so loved and admired, and she loves to be pursued this way. When there are no obstacles, you should create some, and let her feel I am willing to go through fire for you. Words are not the worst resistance in seduction; her words are the calling— she wants to be led astray; she wants to be seduced. So do not focus on words and do not let her negative words prevail in your mind and heart; take them as blessings and read the subtle cues which will help you in her pursuit.
Go through terrible trials:
The ideal lover goes through nasty trials for his target; he lets her feel that he can go through the fire with her, and such an attitude and bravery opens the door of her heart for him. To become an ideal lover, you need to be prepared to face the worst to taste forbidden, nothing is free in this life, and everything has a cost. The person you want to pursue is already engaged with someone; it is not that easy; you should get close to her by befriending someone close to her in her circle, spying on her to gather much information about her. The brave are always attracted to women since they feel safe with a man who can take care of them, and such a role is best suited for the ideal lover who is not even afraid of losing his life in her pursuit.
“The troubadour role is an ideal because people who do not put themselves and their own interests first are truly rare. For a woman to attract the intense attention of such a man is immensely appealing to her vanity.”
“In eighteenth-century Osaka, a man named Nisan took the courtesan Dewa out walking, first taking care to sprinkle the clover bushes along the path with water, which looked like morning dew. Dewa was greatly moved by this beautiful sight. “I have heard,” she said, “that loving couples of deer are wont to lie behind clover bushes. How I should like to see this in real life!” Nisan had heard enough. That very day he had a section of her house torn down and ordered the planting of dozens of clover bushes in what had once been a part of her bedroom. That night, he arranged for peasants to round up wild deer from the mountains and bring them to the house. The next day Dewa awoke to precisely the scene she had described. Once she appeared overwhelmed and moved, he had the clover and deer taken away and the house rebuilt.”
Caring and affectionate:
The ideal lover disguises her manipulations through acts of generosity and affection and caring; he lets her feel he can do anything for her. Affection is a seductive quality, and girls long for gentleness and humbleness. The ideal love adopts such qualities to win her heart.
“The key is ambiguity—to combine the appearance of sensitivity to the pleasures of the flesh with an air of innocence, spirituality, a poetic sensibility.”
Conclusion:
In seduction, playing the role of an ideal lover is very enchanting and alluring. The target relives her past in you; her broken dreams and fantasies come to life again when she feels the magic sparks in your words and acts. Being a mirror image of someone is powerful, and it is the ingenuity of successful seduction to play with one’s unconscious.
References:
- Robert, G. (2001). The art of seduction.