In life, hardships are expected; it depends on how you deal with them. Your perception of the future and the problem you are facing makes you strong or weak. Seeing things from one angle blinds us to other angles that may be more effective and efficient. It takes discipline of mind to keep nerves calm in a horrible situation; overreacting and getting emotional just makes things worse. All great leaders have mustered the art of controlling their emotions; they understand the importance of soothing anxieties in times of crises; they know if they reveal signs of weaknesses, people would get nervous and would lose their trust in them. There are opportunities in chaos for those who are used to the harshness of life and are not scared of problems in life. Comfort makes us weak and fragile, and when we are hit by an unexpected problem, we whine and complain. Therefore, it is better to get out of comfort once you feel that you are getting comfortable in life. Life is a constant struggle, be prepared for your next battle in life.
“Just because your mind tells you that something is awful or evil or unplanned or otherwise negative doesn’t mean you have to agree. Just because other people say that something is hopeless or crazy or broken to pieces doesn’t mean it is. We decide what story to tell ourselves. Or whether we will tell one at all.”
KEY POINTS:
- You need to control your emotions to deal with a difficult situation.
- You need to observe things clearly.
- You need to change your perspective when it is important and be adaptable.
Steady your nerves:
It is hard to act effectively when you are feeling nervous and anxious. It is challenging to deliver what you have intended to deliver to the audience when your hands are shaking and your voice trembling; it is challenging to teach a group of people how to stay calm during times of hardships when you are nervous yourself. There are people you may have encountered in your life in times of earthquake, accidents, and other horrible incidents happened in your presence, who look calm and steady and helping people hit by the disaster; they are also nervous but they do not look nervous since they are used to such incidents, and they deliberately put on a brave face so that the people in shock get calm and normal. Getting exposed to many dangers make you less scared of dangers. To deal with a horrible situation, you need to think rationally; you should calm your nerves. You need to control your mind, then you will be able to control the situation.
What such a man needs is not courage but nerve control, cool headedness. This he can get only by practice.
—THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Control your emotions:
An emotional person cannot make the right decisions since he is controlled by his strong emotions; he is not able to think rationally. When people are emotional, they say things that hurt other people since they believe what they have said is right but that is not true. Dealing with a difficult situation gets harder when we succumb to pain and emotions, deviate from what is in front of us, delay things, and pay a heavy price for them later. It is unwise to make decisions when your emotions are high since your mind is blocked; you do not see the picture clearly. Always control your feelings first before making a decision or saying something. Go for a walk, meditate, and take deep breaths to calm yourself.
“When people panic, they make mistakes. They override systems. They disregard procedures, ignore rules. They deviate from the plan. They become unresponsive and stop thinking clearly. They just react—not to what they need to react to, but to the survival hormones that are coursing through their veins.”
“Uncertainty and fear are relieved by authority. Training is authority. It’s a release valve. With enough exposure, you can adapt out those perfectly ordinary, even innate, fears that are bred mostly from unfamiliarity.”
Observe clearly:
The common mistake people make when dealing with a difficult situation is that they see it from one angle; they do not observe it clearly. When dealing with a problem, break it into parts, and study each part carefully. You need to know the potential consequences of the problem; you need to know why did it happen and how you can prevent yourself from it in the future. It is unwise to get stuck in the same problem over and over again, we end up in a vicious relationship since we feel the void, but we do not study how to get rid of the void, and to fill the emptiness, we give ourselves to the bad person again. It is better to observe things clearly and find solutions for the problems we are facing.
Don’t let the force of an impression when it first hit you knock you off your feet; just say to it: Hold on a moment; let me see who you are and what you represent. Let me put you to the test.
—EPICTETUS
“Epictetus told his students, when they’d quote some great thinker, to picture themselves observing the person having sex. It’s funny, you should try it the next time someone intimidates you or makes you feel insecure. See them in your mind, grunting, groaning, and awkward in their private life—just like the rest of us.”
Alter your perspective:
You should be adaptable in life since life has been advancing and what worked in the past may not be as efficient in today’s world due to the advancement of technology. Sometimes we stick to doing things our way, though it is time-consuming and tiresome. It is better to find an alternative that saves us time and energy and helps us excel in our fields and careers. You need to listen to other people and learn to change your perspective when you understand their views are beneficial and can help you better cope with difficult situations. Sometimes we do not listen to others due to our ego.
Conclusion:
We need to control our emotions to deal with difficult situations; we need to observe things clearly; we need to be adaptable in life and learn to change our perspective.
References:
- Holiday, R. (2014). The obstacle is the way: The ancient art of turning adversity to advantage. Profile Books.